Evermore = Tulip Abuse

The Immortals series by Alyson Noel

Depressed Girl? Check. Mysterious hot guy? Check. Emo cover? Check. Check.

Since a horrible accident claimed the lives of her family, sixteen-year-old Ever can see auras, hear people’s thoughts, and know a person’s life story by touch.   Going out of her way to shield herself from human contact to suppress her abilities has branded her as a freak at her new high school—but everything changes when she meets Damen Auguste…

Here’s the scoop:

Ever’s life pretty much sucks.  She’s an orphan and while she lives in a fab-o house in Laguna Beach with her aunt, she also gets regular visits from her little sis, Riley.  Yeah, the dead one.  Since the day of the accident she’s been psychic; seeing people’s auras, hearing their crazy, miserable thoughts and seeing dead people like little ‘ol Haley Joel himself.  She has no friends except for two outcasts: Haven, a wannabe goth and Miles, the sassy gay friend every girl needs.

Enter Damon Auguste, smoking hot new guy in school who is assigned a seat next to Ever in first period (I know! What are the odds?).  He seems interested in Ever in a very direct but non-stalkerish way.  Ever avoids him for as long as possible—which is barely a day, of course, because how boring would that be?— and is shocked when she finds that he has no aura.  Not only that, but she can’t hear a single thought coursing through his mind.  Gasp!  What could this mean?

Right away I feel I must point out the negatives here.  First and foremost: the names.  Sweet holy teenage drama, they’re terrible!  Ever Bloom, Haven, Stacia (reigning queen bee), Honor (queen bee’s minion), Sabine (the aunt), Drina, Evangeline and Jude.  Guys, soap opera writers laugh themselves into a stupor over these names.

My next big complaint is related to this Teen Paranormal craze.  It’s fine to have otherworldly storylines and characters, but I’m so sick of the formula of depressed/dumb girl + mysterious/possibly dangerous boy + classroom seat assignments= intrigue/romance/Twilight ripoff. I don’t mean to say that this story is anything like Twilight, because it is totally different, but the setup feels the same.  And by the time you move onto the second book in the series, Blue Moon (I’m not joking.  That is the title.  It rhymes with something.  There’s love drama.  Our heroine is sad.  Hmm. I can’t quite place it) there are similarities, but they have lessened immensely.

Lastly, I have a couple of gripes with the writing itself.  While Evermore’s pacing and story are intriguing and kept me reading, holy bananas there is alot of cheese!  I’m talking four cheese pizzas with extra cheese and cheesy bread sticks on the side!  Like, in rare moments, I’ve been known to throw random books from this series across the room because I can’t stand all the schmoopiness (only to get weird looks from Twu Wuv, who doesn’t understand why I pick it back up again and devour the next chapter.  Boys!).

This series is still a fun read because Alyson Noel created a storyline that sucked me in.  To explain the premise of The Immortals would completely ruin the first book, so I’ll suck it up and keep it to myself.  Let me assure you that this is no vampire story.  There are no wolves or shapeshifters.  There is magic.  Be prepared to hear alot about auras, crystals, chakras and a bunch of lunar crud.  And while I personally think that’s all a bunch of hooey, it’s totally interesting as it’s been woven into the story.

A couple of the characters are huge strong points in and of themselves.  Unfortunately our heroine, Ever,  isn’t one of them.  I mean, I like her, but she’s also annoyingly gullible at times.  And since most of the cheesy dialogue comes from her thoughts, she’s lucky I haven’t punched her.  She does, however have Miles, our resident Gay BFF.  He isn’t a huge character, but he is a devoted, albeit self-involved, friend to Ever.  When he isn’t obsessing over his latest boyfriend or his role in a theatrical production of Hairspray you can find him offering sharp wit as only a sassy friend can.  And Ever has Damen, who is your typical Mr. Swoonypants, minus the fatal flaw of being ridiculously perfect (ahem, misteredwardcullen, ahem).  In fact it’s his past that makes him interesting.

Crush Rating: 3/5 I haven’t committed to owning any of these books, but I like them when they’re in my hands (and not being thrown across the room). So I think they’re good. Not amazing, but interesting.

The Way I See It:

Thanks to the lovely ladies at FYA I can only picture Damen as that smoldery naughty boy, Ian Somerhalder.  They put this book on my radar and since the day I read their review I’ve been forced (yes forced) to have images like this in my head for the duration of the series.  Pure torture, obviously.

Oh Rickie!

Guys, back in the day I had a major crush on My So Called Life (oh Jordan Catalano, you swoonykins you).  I think I may have loved Rickie even more than Jordan.  (I know!).  Rickie, BF to Angela, is exactly how I pictured Miles, BF to Ever (minus the military jacket cos, you know, this ain’t the 90’s anymore).

Beyond that, does any other casting really matter?  I don’t think so.Memorable Quote: (memorable for cheese. Sorry)

I turn back to face him, startled to find him looming close, his lips moist and parted, mere inches from mine.  Then he brushes his fingers along the side of my cheek, and retrieves a red tulip from behind my ear.The next thing I know, I’m standing alone as he heads back inside with his date.

Yep.  You read that right.  He pulled a tulip from behind her ear.  Remember this:  Circus clown magic tricks are the new hot.  Trust me on that. Soundtrack: I love me some Muse.  “Feeling Good” has the right vibe for the theme of this series.

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