He was even a little annoying when he’d tell Bella that, though she wanted desperately to become one of the undead, he’d rather she die than become totally hot and immortal. True dat. Good God, bite her already.
So lezzz roll: Point #1 – OMG, Edward, follows Bella, like, everywhere.
OK, let’s dissect this, shall we? Yes, he does, he watches her sleep, he sings her songs, he follows her when she goes to outings with her girlfriends (where he saves her from real creeps, ahem). However, let’s all remember…this girl is more accident prone than I am. (Side story alert: Most of you don’t know me, but just ask MFEO about that one time when I was pregnant and I took a ride down her stairs on her daughter’s indoor trike thingy – not on purpose…scared her hubby to death!). So, ok, just being the most accident prone person in the universe isn’t enough. But here’s the deal-eeo: this is after he already had tried to stay away from her (this most accident prone person in the universe, everrrrrrr) for her own good, and after she was all…”No, dude, don’t go…”. They are soul mates in a fictional world where this kind of crazy, soul mate, unbearable-like love can exist and where you never get sick of a person, even when they slurp their soup over a decade into your marriage, EVEN when you’ve told them to quit it already. Wait, what?
OK, as we were.
Point #2: He breaks her car to control her whereabouts…dude!?!?!?!
Edward takes out some sort of dinglehopper out of her car so she can’t go see Jacob. Stalker-like? Perchance. And this is the closest I’ll ever come to conceding on this point. However…let’s just say that this was Angela who found out that her homie Bella was going to go see a werewolf, a brand, spankin’ new one who allegedly (according to the standard newbie werewolf norm) doesn’t know how to control his temper yet. I consider Ang a fictional GF of mine and I think it’s safe for me to hypothesize that she might consider pulling a wire or two. Hullllooooohhhhh!!! I mean just look at poor Emily!!!!! Come on! It’s not like he’s like, “Bella, I don’t want you to go to the mall.” It’s like, “Dammit, Bella, do you WANT to get your face ripped off?”
Point #3: OMG, Edward like totally controls Bella, ugh, like uhmahgawd. It’s like my momma always said: a guy will only go as far as the lady allows…and this doesn’t just apply to playing Parcheezi party people!!! Men need to be molded and encouraged into the best “them” they can be…they don’t do it by themselves! (No one call my beloved, he is fully under the impression that he did).
My point, and I do have one, is that if Bella didn’t like it when Edward was saying, “Um, yea, no, you’re not going to go see Jacob,” it was her responsibility to nip it in the bud.
Had my beloved dismantled my snafoodle from my car, I would have LEFT THE WINDOW CLOSED that night…
Had he said, “Um, were you going to ask my permission about something?” (In this scenario my beloved can read minds, ya dig?) I would have been like, “Um no, I don’t ask for permission from anyone but my dad, but thanks for asking.”
But, again, let’s get real (as real as I can be in Crazytown)…this is a story about two soul mates that have no “real world” comparison. This is a story about the love we feel when we first feel it. A love that continually envelopes your entire being so passionately, that nothing else matters. It’s not real love, it’s not that deliciously peaceful love that you grow into. Sigh.
Now, if you’ll excuse, now that I’ve written this article, I feel a need to go give my beloved a great, big hug, as I’ve been pleasantly reminded that at the end of the day (even if it’s a day when we dine on soup) I always come to realize he is perfectly perfect for me. Sigh, sigh, sigh.