by Vee ( I know right? She’s back with a sweet goodbye to her beloved Twilight franchise.)
There’s a new break up that has the paparazzi abuzz…the much followed relationship that started in 2008 between The Twilight Movie Saga and millions of women all around the world has ended. Spokespeople for both camps tell us that they’ve parted ways amicably and wish each other all things wonderful. They promise to remain friends via DVD and BluRay sales and rentals.
I’m not gonna lie. For me, it wasn’t always the perfect relationship but as I look back on it, with everything said and done, I will cherish our time together with love, scent of stale popcorn and all.
I remember sitting in the movie theater, as excited as a girl on her first date, to see the Twilight movie on November 21, 2008. If this had been a first date for realsies I would have said the “dinner conversation” Edward provided left much to be desired, but boy was he a good kisser. I think all sins were forgiven – cough…Bella’s ceaseless lip biting…cough…and wait, did Edward just say he read that guy’s mind and he’s thinking about HIS CAT?!…cough – the very moment they had their first kiss. Oh. My.
Ok, ok, ok, so I think it’s only right that we rewind just a little bit to touch on how we first met, these books and I. Metaphorically speaking it was through a blind date set up by my homie, and yours, Tee. True story. I refused but finally for reasons I don’t remember – perhaps Tee just broke me down – I relented. And it was as if a clever suitor was wooing me with his delicious, toe curling words. Who isn’t a sucker for a dude that says stuff like:
“You are my life now.”
“Be safe.” (Written in free hand calligraphy, no less.)
“And so the lion fell in love with the lamb.” (Ha, ha! Just kidding…that was kinda cheesy, but I was so lost in the romantical saga that I was too far gone to care.)
My fervor for the written story was how I forgave New Moon the movie for making vampires brittle like a piece of frail marble (ick, that was so weird), or how Eclipse never quite captured the deliciously smug Edward handling Jacob after Jacob kisses Bella. (Jacob: “May the best man win.” Edward: “That sounds about right…pup.”)
Of course, throughout the release of all the movies, I continued to be distraught by Bella’s lip biting and weird choking noises to express distress. Did she swallow a piece of an apple that was too big? Maybe her allergies while in Forks were killing her? No one could explain it to me. Add to my concerns the pained face Edward made (and the grunting noises?!?!) when he kissed Bella. I worried, wondering if the good was enough to outweigh the “other” stuff. P.S. I totally KNOW he’s “supposed to be in pain”, but still…my own pain was starting to get uncomfortable.
BUT, it is only fair that we do touch on the good, is it not? (Indulge me.)
Um, there was that one part in New Moon where Bella jumps into a very shirtless Edward’s arms and saves him from the sun’s rays and what they might reveal.
Page 187, as I will forever call that scene, when Edward shows Bella how he, um, remodeled his bedroom in Eclipse. And though it was never quite as good in the movie as it was in my head, it was, uh, pretty good.
Of course, then came Breaking Dawn Part One, and I saw a true glimmer of hope that the series just might end on the up and up. I present to the ladies and gentlemen of the jury exhibit A: the headboard scene. Need I say more?
I would be remiss if I didn’t touch on the characters beyond Bella and Edward that I enjoyed in this relationship. They were like your boyfriend’s friends and/or family that you really, really like hanging out with maybe a little more than you will admit you like hanging out with him. Charlie – no wait that goes more like this: Chaaaaaaaarlie, Jessica, Mike, Alice, Carlisle, Emmett. Let’s K.I.T. you guys…love ya.
And so, with some trepidation, much like my first date back in 2008, I arrived at the movie theater to witness the last interpretation of the book series that made me sigh as I turned pages on late nights in my living room. I know that’s a lot of pressure to put on anyone, so I once again resigned myself to focus on the parts I really loved in Breaking Dawn Part Two, hoping to blur out the parts I didn’t.
To my utter delight I can report that my last date with this movie series was divine. Not only was the story what I’d hope it would look like on the silver screen, but as the girl turned vampire — gasp — gone were Bella’s annoying quirks! Not one cacophonous sound coming from her throat, if there was any lip biting, I didn’t see it. And (BONUS!), with Bella’s scrummy, yummy, human scent a thing of the past, kissy faces for Edward no longer included the look of a man smelling rotten egg; this was replaced by a really H-O-T vampire in love with his new bride, getting steamy and all bothered.
And then all-a-sudden (WARNING: DO NOT READ BEYOND THIS POINT IF YOU HAVEN’T SEEN THE MOVIE…TRUST ME JUST SKIP TO THE NEXT PARAGRAPH…OK, YOU’VE BEEN WARNED…)…as I was saying, all-a-sudden, Carlisle’s head gets chopped off! SAY whaaaaaaat?!?! I know. All sort of insanity ensues, to the point where I thought this was Melissa Rosenberg having a last, cruel laugh at my expense. (She is and will forevermore be the byotch-who-stole-my-pads for the butchering of the first movie!)
So in the midst of insanity, just when I was about to cry and run out of the theater, sweet relief, they brought things back to what they were meant to be. I’ve spoiled things enough already for those of you that didn’t heed my warning, so I won’t reveal what I mean by that…cuz it’s pretty fly. Once sanity IS restored, the movie keeps the end rather true to the book in a most satisfying way.
I felt peace, happiness, a little breatheless from that crazay thing there at the end – but in a good way – and an all around sense of kumbaya. Best break up everrrrrr. And now, with a renewed sense of love for my Twilight movies I can move on with my life. I think I can actually watch Bella bite that lip knowing that perhaps, just maybe KStew decided that was going to be a character trait of pre-vampire Bella. Edward and I will always have Breaking Dawn Part Two (and page 187), and we really do wish the best for each other as we move on with our lives.
Which is good since, now older and wiser maybe a little more mature even, I’m considering accepting a first date from this new guy who’s been giving me a bit of the stink eye for some time now. Name’s Christian Grey, and word around town is he’s kinda dark and broody, filthy rich, knows how to play a mean piano sonata, loves to do the clever banter thing. Wait a minute…