Top Ten Tuesday- Books that Make Me Giggle

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish. Since our  topic is a freebie this week, I’m going to list some YA books that are funny. I’m a huge dork. I love a book that can make me chuckle.   Or laugh.  And I really love books that can make me snort (it happens more often than I should admit).

1. The Princess Diaries series by Meg Cabot– Any book where the characters make lists of the hottest cartoon characters of all time, or use awesome terminology like Baby Licker, or that has a protagonist whose inner spazz shows itself outwardly often (quite often) is a winner.  No matter how many times I read these I still laugh.

2. Books by Leila Sales- I loved Mostly Good Girls and Past Perfect because Sales is so funny. Her characters are hilarious.  Seriously. I only wish I had that ability to make people laugh.

3. Ten Things We Did and Probably Shouldn’t Have by Sarah Mylnowski- Yes,  someday I will actually review this book. At this point, I’m due for a re-read because I read it six months ago. But all of the funny still stands out in my mind.  I mean it’s a list. A list of ten stupid things that April and her bestie do (though if you ask me, they do waaaaay more than ten stupid things) and yet that’s the beauty of being a teenager— not having to apologize for being one.

4. Anything by Stephanie Perkins- So far we’ve had Anna and the French Kiss and Lola and the Boy Next Door, both of which have such a sweet, romantic vibe . At the same time, Perkins is witty and she knows how to make fun without being mean and how to insert humor without making it seem like she’s trying too hard.

5. The Truth About Forever by Sarah Dessen– Oh I love this book.  It’s the relationships, the banter (and of course, the swooniess) that makes me read it over and over again. This is where Dessen coined phrases like “bettaquit” and “tragical.”It’s nothing less than awesome.

6. This Lullaby by Sarah Dessen– I’m listing this one separately  only because although Dessen is an amazing writer, not all of her books are funny. They all have a certain sweetness and beauty to them, but this one (and the one above) have the most humor.  I loved Dexter. I mean come on. The Potato Opus.  You gotta love that.

7. The Boyfriend books by E. Lockhart- Oh my goodness, Ruby Oliver, you and your sarcasm kill me.  These books are so, SO funny I don’t even know where to begin.  Just read them. Trust me.

8. The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau Banks by E. Lockhart– Again, I need to separate this from Lockhart’s above series. Although they are both very funny, they’re completely different.  Frankie is so witty and this is such a fun girl-power book where she, in trying not to be left out, basically ends up telling the boys in her school’s secret society that they can suck it. This one will be required reading for my daughters.

9. The Jessica Darling series by Megan McCafferty- Yes, Jessica is one grumpy girl, but she is admittedly hilarious.  I think it’s her crankiness combined with her honesty that make her so funny. I mean how can you not love a character whose own father calls her Jessica Not So Darling? And who, in the book, shares her name with a porn star?  It’s the makings of some serious funny, let me tell you.  I favor the first two books and the very last one,  but the entire series is solid.

10. The Percy Jackson books by Richard Riordan- I love this series. I think they’re so creative and fun. And Percy has the cutest inner monologue.  If I had a son, I’d want him to be Percy.

11. Emma by Jane Austen- Oh, Emma is so funny.  For some, I recognize that it’s hard to get around the heavy dialogue and descriptions, so it may not be the first book you think of when funny comes to mind. But Emma is so shallow and so slow about understanding men and women.  It makes for such fun.  My ten-year old and I recently read it together after I’d told her how much I love it and even she was cracking up.  This one’s a keeper.

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Top Ten Tuesday: Author’s I’d Love to Have at My Thanksgiving Feast

by Tee

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish. This week we’re chatting about author’s we’d love to have at our Thanksgiving Feast.  I have a tendency to get really fangirly about this kind of thing, so I’ll do my best not to sound like a crazy stalker.

1. Meg Cabot- She is my favoritist (it IS a word) and I think she would be adorably charming and hilarious because that is exactly how her books feel.  Also, as I fear I may have mentioned before, she created Michael Moscovitz. Like, he’s somewhere in her head, so this would be the closest I could ever get to hanging out with him.  Did that sound crazy? I fear it did.

2. Gayle Forman- Because I love her books AND I love her blog. She is an amazingly gifted writer and I would love to hear about the process she went through, not only to craft the story of Mia and Adam, but about how much of those characters came from actual people she knows.

3. Harper Lee- You probably tire of hearing this, but To Kill a Mockingbird is one of my all-time favorite books. I’d love to ask her about it, to talk about Atticus and where she drew the inspiration for him (because he really is the most amazing character EVER) and to ask why she never published another novel.

4. Veronica Roth- I loved Divergent and I think she has such a promising career ahead of her. Also, I’d angle to get some scoop on the rest of the trilogy.

5. E. Lockhart- I think her books are hilarious.  Anyone who could create girls like Frankie and Ruby…well that’s  someone I’d want to meet because that means that a bit of the awesomeness that lives inside those characters lives inside of her.  Also I’d beg her to tell me more about Frankie, like where she envisions her now.

6. Melina Marchetta- This girl knows how to write complex characters and families.  I’ve never read a single thing from her that I haven’t absolutely loved.  We’d just have to talk about Taylor and Jonah and where they are in life now. Also I’d want to know about the Jellicoe Road movie.

7. Jane Austen- Hello , obvious.

8. Sara Zarr- I really love Zarr’s writing. For me, as a Christian, I love that she’s been able to tackle difficult issues in her books ( I’ve read all of them and they are all fantastic and real and honest) without being preachy and yet without compromising the beliefs she seems to hold.  And we, of course, would need to discuss Cameron Quick. MY HEART IS STILL BREAKING!

9. Leila Sales- Girlfriend is funny.  Straight up hilarious. I’d love to hear about her future projects and about the process of writing her books.

10. Sarah Dessen- I’d love to talk to her about her characters.  She writes such believable, likable,  flawed people whom I feel I know. How does she do that?  I need to know! And her dialogue. It’s perfect.

Top Ten Tuesday: Books Outside of My Comfort Zone

by Tee

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish. Today, the subject they’ve chosen is Top Ten Books That I Read That Were Outside of Comfort Zone.  This includes books I liked or books I didn’t like (although usually I read books by authors I love or recommended by people I trust, so that doesn’t happen terribly often).  So here goes.

1. The Duff by Kody Keplinger-You guys, my neighbors used call me Prudence McPrude the Mayoress of Prudytown (for those of you who recognize, that’s taken from Will & Grace). Anyhoo, I’m not uptight, but I’ve lived a pretty sheltered life.  Growing up, teenagers didn’t have sex (or at least, they didn’t tell Prudence about it) and they didn’t use the f-word in almost every sentence.  So, since I heard that The Duff was chock full of sexytimes which had…gasp…no real commitment involved and that the protagonist was slightly foul-mouthed, I didn’t expect to relate to it at all.  But guess what?  I thought it rocked. Yes,  it was completely different from the choices I’d make personally, but I was still able to empathize with Bianca, the main character, and see the sweet, lusty draw of Wesley.

2. Across the Universe by Beth Revis– This is a science fiction book.  And there really isn’t any sort of swoon. Oh and in the first chapter, Amy gets all kinds of tubes shoved down her throat as she’s put to sleep (to be kept cryogenically frozen).  So, all in all, these are not factors I’d normally appreciate.  But man oh man was this a fantastic book.  It totally took me by surprise .

3. Elsewhere by Gabrielle Zevin-Hello, it’s a book about a teenage girl who is killed in an accident and has to rebuild her life—albeit temporarily—in a place called Elsewhere.  Not subject matter that totally appeals to me.  But it was pretty good.  Sad, but good.

4. Perfect Chemistry by Simone Elkeles– The cover worried me.  And then the whole “guy from the wrong side of the tracks meets perfect rich girl” premise really worried me.  But this book sucked me in, baby.  And Alex, well, it didn’t take long for me to love him. Muy caliente.

5. Wicked Lovely by Melissa Marr- Yeah, I hate fairy books. Have I mentioned that before? I believe I have.  So why would I pick this book up?  I have no idea.  I guess because I know that people love this series.  But fairies and I don’t mix well.  I want to love it like everyone else does. I worry that I’m really missing out and often consider picking it up again, but really why bother? I couldn’t finish it the first time.

6. The Road by  Cormac McCarthy- This is not a YA book, but I had to mention it.  This book didn’t appeal to me on any level. I mean, the characters don’t even have names for goodness sake!!!!  I don’t even think there’s a single set of quotation marks in the whole thing (so its like this: The man says don’t go there and the boy said why.  This is not a direct quote, but it’s how I remember it)!  And worse, there’s a little boy in it who is starving and constantly in danger and a father who is barely able to care for him.  Not a good combo for me.  But, although I would never, ever read it again, it ended up being pretty decent.  Not amazing. Not worth all the crazy Oprah hype, but solid.

7. The Knife of Never Letting Go by Patrick Ness- Again with the sweet children who are in danger! Ugh!  I’m telling you, my little heart can only take so much.  But lordy, this book was amazing.  I knew it would be, but I was afraid of how it would affect me.  I don’t like worrying about little kids who don’t exist. I spend enough time worrying about my own children.  But this book was everything I’d heard it was. Seriously. Read it.

8. The Enemy by Charles Higson- I’ve mentioned this book before.  It was excellent, but it was totally stressful because I was so worried about the kids and whether or not they would a) get eaten by zombies who may or may not have once been adults they knew and loved b) starve to death or c) kill each other as they battled to be in control.  Still,  it was so stinking good.

9. Nightshade by Andrea Cremer– Thanks to Jacob Black, wolves sort of annoy me too.  I typically avoid books centered on wolf packs because wolves usually just remind me of dogs, and there’s nothing too interesting about the family pooch.  I read Nightshade only because the protagonist, Calla, was set to be a pack leader, and I found that interesting. It was excellent.  She was a great character and the story was good.  And, I’m not gonna lie, Ren was a sexypants.

10. The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra Clare- These books have vampires, wolves, fairies and all kinds of other crazy business going on.  You’d think I’d hate them.  But here’s the thing: they’re pretty much awesomesauce.  And they have Jace, who I love like crazy.

Top Ten Tuesday: Books I Read Because of Another Blogger

by Tee

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and The Bookish (a site I love).  This week’s topic is: Top Ten Books I’ve Read Because of Another Blogger.

It’s actually pretty difficult for me to trace why I read certain books.  Most often, I just know I’ve heard something good, or maybe I love the author or the premise.  Every so often the cover gets me (but let’s be real, in YA I usually have to fight the urge to run screaming in the opposite direction. The covers are SO bad. ).  Quite often I pick up a book because a blogger I trust has raved about it.  Here are a few that stand out in my mind:

1. The Hunger Games by Suzanne CollinsIf you’ve ever stopped by and visited the ladies at Forever Young Adult, you know that The Hunger Games is a staple there.  In the midst of their discussions about Peeta or Gale and the posts that help you find your Hunger Games name (I was Gersless O. Singmint, in case you were wondering),  I recognized I’d have to check this series out.  At the time, Mockingjay wasn’t out yet, so it was a bit of a gamble for me (we know how I hate to wait for sequels.  And it was still a significant wait), but once I read the first two books—and totally flipped out over them—at least I had a community of people to spazz with.

2. I’ll Be There by Holly Goldberg Sloan– Holy crap, this book blew me away.  I first read about it when author Gayle Forman mentioned it in her Twitter feed (and also on her blog) and it seemed like immediately afterward, the ladies at FYA were also singing its praises.  They couldn’t have been more right.  This book was amazing.

3. Delirium by Lauren Oliver- This is one I’d heard about, obviously, but wasn’t in any rush to get to (you know how it is when the TBR stack is taller than you). But, when I read how Carla at The Crooked Shelf pretty much fell in love with it, I ordered it immediately.  I’m so glad I didn’t drag my feet on this one.

4. Divergent by Veronica Roth-  It was inevitable that I pick this book up at some point, considering that before its release the world of bloggers was going cray cray for it.  The first person I heard spazz about it was, again, Carla at The Crooked Shelf, so I promised myself I’d read it and love it (which I did).

5. The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau Banks by E. Lockhart- You guys, where would I be without Frankie?  She reinforced the cold hard truth: Girls rock.  And she makes up her own words, which, or course I love.  Again, my favorite blog, Forever Young Adult, put this one on the radar for me.

6. Ten Things We Did (and Probably Shouldn’t Have) by Sarah Mlynowski- I read great reviews on two blogs I love, first at Anna Reads and then over at GReads.  Both ladies were right on the money. I loved the pants off this book and pretty much wanted to read it again the moment I finished it!

7. Shade by Jeri Smith-Ready- Holy bananas I love this series.  I would never, ever have picked it up (because I’m sorry, but I’m not a fan of the covers) had it not been for Jen at Makeshift Bookmark.  Thanks to her I know of the incredible hotness of Zach and Logan.  I love these books! Did I already say that?  Good.

8. The Mortal Instruments series by Cassandra ClareThe weird thing is, I read Clockwork Angel before reading any of The Mortal Instruments books.  Based on the fact that I looooooved Clockwork Angel and the fact that several blogs, including Mundie Moms (I mean, wow, an entire site dedicated to Clare’s books? In a word, awesome) and The Story Siren, mention this series, I finally read (and loved) them.

9. Where She Went by Gayle Forman- Okay so, I honestly would have read this book anyway, considering the way I blubber like a maniac every time I read If I Stay, but I was a little scared.  When a book is THAT good, it’s normal to be concerned about the sequel because it seems like nothing can match up.  Then I read this great review at Books from Bleh to Basically Amazing. She convinced me that, not only was it a good book, but that I would absolutely fall in love with it (and of course, I did).

10. Graceling by Kristin Cashore- This one I picked up from a blogger, Yannabe,  whose site now seems to be inactive (sad face, because I loved her reviews). I wanted to mention it though, because if she hadn’t spoken so highly of Graceling, it would have completely slipped past my radar and that would have been tragic.  It’s so excellent.

Mondays That Bite: Twilight Read Along Chapters 6-10

by Vee

Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiit’s Monday, and that can only mean one thing: I get to indulge once again in some Twilight talk.  OMG.  For those of you who missed the gushing, I am still tote’s sending my love to Ginger at GReads for starting the fun.

The questions below came to us from Lisa at Lisa is Busy Nerding.  I had tons of fun answering them (thanks Lisa!), and hope YA Crushers have their own ideas to add as well.  And now, without further ado, week two of the funnest thing ever: the Twilight Read Along.  (Yay!)

1.  Because we have to talk about it sometime – are you Team Edward or Team Jacob?  Does that impact how you re-read the book?

Um, Team Edward.  Moo.  A totally emotional decision, and I won’t even bother stating my case.  I just be lovin’ me some Edward.  (And Jacob is a smelly dog.  Sorry,  I just had to get one dig in…)

Re-reading the books I had a totally different experience than when I read the books the first time .  This was true with all characters, including Jacob.  The first time I read them I wanted to go as fast as I could through the story because I felt so much in suspense, wanting to get to the bottom of all these mysteries.  The second time around I was able to digest the characters and much to my chagrin, I was able to see Jacob with less disdain when re-reading the first book because I felt he did do a lot that, I must admit, redeemed himself for me when we arrived at the series’ conclusion.  (She says in a begrudging tone.)

2. Bella spends a lot of her time by herself in her room when she’s not at school.  What do you think this says about her as a character?  Can you relate to her introverted nature?

I think the picture of Bella that Stephenie Meyers is trying to paint is of someone who isn’t necessarily the stereotypical teen girl.  It would take someone beyond the standard stereotype to catch the eye of someone who has seen them all.  Evidently Edward agrees.  The fact that Bella is an introvert who decides what is right for herself, despite what others might consider cool, foreshadows what’s to come and the decisions she makes in future books, which aren’t based on what most of us might choose but what she feels is right for her.  The convictions are strong in that young Padwan.  (Sorry, I’ve been having Star Wars marathons with my kids this summer…)

Do I relate?  Yeee-eh-uh.  As someone who was 100% non-sporty (let’s just say the klutz factor got in the way of my Olympic gold medal plans), not to mention kinda shy, being in my room reading was a favorite pastime.  Books saved me (remember my answer to question #1 last week?).  I could escape in books.  Books were my best conversation starters (and still are, actually).  Books rock the house.  As does hanging out alone, having quiet time with just you and your book in your room.  Yay books!

3. Probably my favorite chapter of the entire book, chapter eight brings us dress shopping, nearly getting assaulted, and then wraps up nicely with a quaint dinner and confession time.  In this we see the blend of typical teenage existence starting to get tainted by the paranormal world.  If given the choice right then, would you push to know more about the paranormal, or bury your head in the sand and live the teenage dream?

Push to know more.  Push to know more!!!!!  Ahhhhhhh!  Sevehn.


4. Already, it’s pretty clear that Bella is falling for Edward.  Is this happening too quickly to be plausible, or is it totally reasonable to you? What about Edward do you find to be swoonworthy at this point?

Unlike the person who plays him in real life, Edward is well spoken and thoughtful in what he says.  And – ok, let’s review – words are the way to Vee’s heart.  Also, if there’s mushroom ravioli involved: I. Am. Yours.  But I digress.  Chemistry, as it relates to love, can be a pretty tricky thing.  So it’s not entirely that implausible that she’s already giving him some stink eye.  Lez see…he’s evidently super hot, he can talk real good, and he does swoony gentlemanly things that guys his age, sadly, don’t always know to do.  (Offers her his delicious-smelling-jacket?  Hulloh?  Oh, and also, he pays for dinner.  And it was mushroom ravioli…did I mention that?)

5. Jessica has to forcibly remove all of the details on what’s going on from Bella, but through that we learn more about how she’s feeling and how she’s falling for Edward already.  If you were in Jessica’s shoes, what would you say to Bella?

“Bella, that is some hot piece of…”, oh wait…that’s not a proper answer.  If I were me, but in Jessica’s shoes, knowing only the little that Jessica knows about Edward, I’d say: “Bella, this dude is a little too dark and broody (though admittedly really fuh-huh-hine) so just tread lightly and look alive!  No dark, hidden corners with him for a while, ‘kay?”  Because in the real world, where he’s actually walking down the halls of school, I would think it was a little scary.  Dark, broody, never talking to anyone???  Hmmm…  But still, he’s Edward so I wouldn’t completely discourage it, either. I’d just ask that she be a ninja about it and watch out, because I don’t know who he really is, right?!!?!

For a list of next week’s questions, be sure to visit  Jasmine and Jacinda at The Reading Housewives of Indiana and check back with us on Monday when we discuss chapters 11-15 (it’s meadow time, party people)!

Even the photo stills of the scene in the Port Angeles restaurant make me sad (I really don't think the screenwriter - or the director - did it justice in the movie - yes more whining), so the only thing I could bear to include this week, was a photo of mushroom ravioli. Sigh.

Top Ten Tuesday: Rebels in Literature

by Tee

Top Ten Tuesday is hosted by The Broke and the Bookish and I luuuurve this week’s topic: Top Ten Rebels in Literature!

I love a good rebel because they are so very opposite of sweet, goody two-shoes me.  In most of my examples, these are not characters who were all brooding and Rebel Without a Cause-ish, but they stood up for what they believed in despite the consequences.  That is, in a word, awesome.

So here is my list of the best rebels evah:

1. Atticus Finch (To Kill a Mockingbird)– I’ve mentioned before that Atticus is hands down my favorite literary character of all time.  I don’t believe he’ll ever be surpassed.  In a time and place where racism was commonplace, he defended an innocent black man accused of raping a white woman,  despite the danger  that is posed to both he and his family and, perhaps worse, despite the fact that he knew it was a losing battle.  Plus he’s been forever memorialized by Gregory Peck in the film version. That’s never a bad thing.

Atticus and Tom

2. Jane Eyre (Jane Eyre)- Jane had a less than desirable upbringing and a life lacking much love until she crossed the threshold of Thornfield Hall and became governess to Mr. Rochester’s ward, Adele.  Just when it seemed like she was about to get her well-deserved happily ever after, the rug was pulled out from under her.  She didn’t stay and take the tawdry option offered my Mr. Rochester, but instead left and carved out a new life for herself.  It was painful, but she did the brave thing and moved on.

3.  Elizabeth Bennet (Pride and Prejudice)- My love for Miss Bennet runs deep. She’s bright and beautiful but quick to recognize the fact that though it’s not a common idea, she hopes to one day marry for love.  She turns down not one but TWO marriage proposals (from Mr. Collins and Mr. Darcy) and has no problem making fun of Darcy to his face.  In the end, she’s humble enough to see her own shortcomings and to forgive Darcy for his, but I think her weaknesses are what make her so interesting (and I think that’s what Mr. D loves about her too).

4. Katniss (The Hunger Games)- I think most of us would be willing to take the place of a loved one who is about to face danger.  Most of us, when put to the test, would fight with all we had for our lives if necessary (though there’s no guarantee we’d be as much of a butt kicker as Katniss).  But not everyone would have the courage to pretty much say IN YO FACE to the Capitol again and again (because not only can they hurt you, they can hurt everyone you love). Whether it’s with her illegal hunting at home, her mockingjay pin, or eating the berries in the first book, Katniss has some serious cojones.

5.  Harry, Ron and Hermione (The Harry Potter series)- I could go on for days blabbing about how much I love these three.  They are the most devoted of friends, their strengths compliment each other and despite the fact that they’re young wizards (meaning there are many who are more experienced and stronger) they constantly run toward danger to face it head on.

6. Frankie Landau Banks (The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau Banks)– Guuuurl, Frankie is awesome.  She realizes one day that she doesn’t like being left out of the all boy secret society on campus.  So what would you do if you were Frankie?  Most people would complain and do nothing (I’m in that group). A few might spy on them.  But that wasn’t good enough for our girl Frankie.  She infiltrated the group and got them to take orders from her like they were her little minions. And they had NO idea it was a yucky old girl doing it all! Also, she makes up words which automatically makes her awesome.

7. Tris (Divergent)– I know we haven’t posted our review on this one yet, but I’ve read it and it’s fantastic.  Tris is amazing because she is so courageous–like, courageous bordering on crazy, but courageous just the same.  She leaves her family, the place she’s grown up, and faces people who aren’t warm to her, to train for a dangerous job she may not get (thus leaving her homeless and without much purpose).  And her bravery has nothing to do with being fearless. That’s the best part. She is frightened, but she pushes past it.

8. Lena (Delirium)- Lena has to go against everything she’s ever been taught for the sake of love.  And this is dangerous for many reasons.  First, because she’s been told that love is a serious infectious disease (but she is willing to risk catching it when Alex sparks her interest), second because she could be locked away (or worse), and third because Alex could be harmed.  But she risks it all, not only for romantic love, but for the memories she holds of real love from her mother or the real love she feels for her best friend.  These things make her willing to question everything she’s ever believed in.

9. Taylor Markham (Jellicoe Road)- Taylor is brave bordering on crazy in her desperation to find her mentor Hannah, the closest thing she’s had to a parent since her mom abandoned her years ago.  Taylor will break any rules to find Hannah, or to find more information about her mother’s whereabouts. And then there’s her confusing relationship with Jonah Griggs, who both intrigues and infuriates her.  Even though it hurts, she never backs down.  She fiercely pursues the people and things that mean the most to her. Plus, she’s pretty brilliant as she leads her team in the local Territory Wars.

10. Katsa (Graceling)- Man we need to review this book. It is so good. And Katsa is a butt kicker.  She is a trained assassin working for an evil king and though it may cost her her life, she defies him. Along the way she falls in love and, unlike most love stories, has no interest in marrying him! She loves him but …SPOILER ALERT…she’s like, can’t you just be my lover?  Now, this isn’t necessarily how I’d choose to live, but when I read it I was like WHHHATTT??  You, Katsa, have a giant pair of you know whats.  Also, you’re an amazing fighter.

2011 MTV Movie Awards: The Cliff Notes (Longest Cliff Notes Evah)

by Vee

Ok, soooo I am about 18 years too old to care about the MTV Movie Awards or find them in any way amusing.  That’s like the life of an entire person!  Who can vote!  Oh my.

Alas, books that turned into movies were nominated.  The actors who PLAYED the characters in said movies were there.  Someone had to watch this shiz and bring the news back to my people (that’s you — yes I am blaming this on you/using you as my scape goat as to why I am to watch teeny bopper award shows with Justin Bieber in them).  It was a sacrifice, but watching scenes from the newest Harry Potter and Breaking Dawn movies was just something I had to endure for you.  I hope you appreciate me!  Because I had to rewind, rewind, and rewind again, just so that I could get this all just right.  But more on the new movie clips to come soon.

I will go through the awards in order of how the events occured for the most part, but to be honest this article really has no plan.  Just my observations.  At times I’ll talk about what actors or the host said, and it may look like a quote, but I am just paraphrasing, because it’ll be a cold day in my oven on Thanksgiving if I am going to go look up exact quotes for this!  And in certain instances, I don’t know the name of some of the actors, because I am just too old to care.  So, if this is the case, I suggest you Google it.  I promise it’ll come up.

Jason Sudeikis

The Host: Jason Sudeikis

The Good – He doesn’t try too hard to “act young”.  He acts like himself, and he’s actually quite funny, but he also clearly knows “what up” in the MTV world.  So, as far as I could see, it was a good balance.  Also nice, he has good rappor with many of the A-list people on the scene, which allows for some funny, easy moments.  Example: Clearly he is a good bud of Justin Timberlake (repeat after me: looooove him), so after a few digs in his opening monologue (“You may know me from SNL, or as my family refers to it, ‘The Justin Timberlake Show’“), it was cute and hilarious when Justin (the first presenters of the night along with Mila Kunis) referred to Jason with one simple word: “A**hole.”  Hee. That might be offensive to some, to whom I say, this is Justin Timberlake!  He can do no wrong.

One of the best moments of the night?  When Jason made a joke about Emma Stone’s movie, “Easy A”, during his opening monologue and they pan to her in the audience.  Unlike other starlets who just laughed politely – if uncomfortably – Emma went stone faced, but clearly doing so to add to the humor of the moment.  That’s when I knew I’d been right about that Emma Stone girl.  She is awesome sauce and we should tot’s be friends (call me Emma).  Or, I could be like her mom figure and she can call me up for advice (just call me, we’ll figure it out).

The Bad: Jason, could you please cap your Schwarzenegger jokes about illegitimate children at 10?  That 12th one…bit of overkill.  Yawn.  And if I could just ask a favor: leave Maria Schriver out of the punch lines…she’s gone through enough with that LAB she had for a husband.  (Aggro much?  I know.)

The Ugly: His attempt at a musical moment (a la Hangover when that dude plays made up songs at the piano but which, though terrible, are hilarious) was a failure!  The only silver linings were a brief appearance by Foo Fighter lead singer David Grohl hitting the gong for him and Emma Stone, singing briefly with Jason.  Other than that it was just lame.

Now that's a bad morning...

Other good host moments: The opening clip had Taylor Lautner doing something he does really well (and I say this despite the fact that he’s a smelly dog that I hate!), which is to play the charismatic straight man to a comedian’s bits.  He proved this beautifully on his SNL appearance, and he is always a good sport.  And since I’m already on the subject of the opening clip, I might as well complete my thoughts on it and just say that Eva Mendes made me pee mah pants.  She wakes up (again, a la Hangover – which I LOVE saying for some reason) with a Team Jacob tattoo all across her cheek.  She flips out on Sudeikis and says, “WTH man, I am Team Edward, I’ve ALWAYS been Team Edward!!!!”  It was hella funny.  But maybe thaz just because I love me some Twilight (this statement however comes to be challenged as the evening progresses).

So on to the awards themselves…

Mila's got all the luck...gorg hair, and gorg co-presenter.

Mila Kunis (who had the best hair of the night) and JT (that’s what I call my man, Justin Timberlake) who were funny and genuine, presented the award for Best Male Performance.  For the record, they take my “Funniest Presenters of the Night” award.

Best Male Performance Winner: Robert Pattinson (Edward, moo) for The Twilight Saga: Eclipse.

Now you’d think I’d be all happy pants about this but alas, I was not.  I’ll be up all night if I make a list of everyone listed, so I’ll just tell you who SHOULD HAVE won: Daniel Radcliffe (Mr. Harry Potter, of course).  Did anyone who texted in their votes watch HP?  Serious?  I can’t even talk about it.  And then of course Mr. Pattinson gives one of those quirky speeches of his and you go…for reals?  You’re Edward?  Holy crow, indeed.  If only he wasn’t so pretty I would have broken up with him straight after this acceptance speech, but alas I did not — what can I say, he looked pretty good, he even looked like he’d washed his hair.  His acceptance speech moments progressively got worse, so my decision was not a wise one.

(Silver Lining: At least Taylor Lautner didn’t win.)

Then Steven Spielberg and his peeps from his upcoming movie Super 8 came out and showed us all a clip…and I think me smells a hit!  I’m crossing my fingers that this will be my kids’ generation’s Goonies…every generation needs a movie like that!

Now we come to Best Villain, presented by Steve Carell, Emma Stone and Ryan Gosling — who everyone thinks is all yummy pants but I get this sense from him that he knows he’s yummy pants so for me that always cancels any deliciouness associated with any pants, his or anyone else’s.  I don’t like it when you think your pants are yummy.  If you know, just shut up, pretend you don’t.  I’ll let you know if you’re right.  So back to best villain, who is tot’s a good one!

Best Villain Winner: Tom Felton (Drako Malfoy) of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part I (yay!)

Funny thing, though I wanted HP to get at least one win, which (spoiler alert) this was the only one (I know!), but I was just wondering why Aro of Eclipse was not nominated?  That would be a nod for Twilight that would have me saying, “OK, yea, that’s about right and it wasn’t just crazy Twi-fans voting 27,000 times.”   Sorry, Michael Sheen!  Oh, and also, sorry to Voldemort…a note to Ralph Fiennes you rock da house with your creepy snake face. For reals.

And then, guess what?  FOOOOOOOOOOO FIGHTEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRSSSSSSSSS, thaz what!  Foo Fighters played their newest song, Walk, and were uuuuuuuuh, SO good, of course!  Reminded me that I need to add more pennies to my jar because I am tot’s going to be at their next concert!  Oh, but before that Jim Carrey came out and did an initially funny bit where he poked fun at presenters who did over the top stuff to get attention when really they are there to spotlight/introduce someone else.  He did so while wearing a fancy-high tech green screen suit (yes, you read that right) that switched up different scenes on itself.  That alone would have been funny had he chosen some outlandish scenes, maybe snapshots of himself to continue the whole self centered motif?  Instead he chose to keep inserting (no pun intended, believe me) a scene of two dogs doing, well, you know, the deed.  And as he went back to that scene, it would stay on that for longer and longer periods of time.  Now, I promise you, I’m not some huge, uptight prude.  I chuckled a bit at the first brief clip of the dogs.  Then the clip time kept getting longer and longer and I couldn’t help think of how young many of the kids in the audience were — and those watching.  It crossed over to the crass spectrum, for me (this is where people write me hate mail for being and old fogey who can’t take a joke anymore, and that’s ok).

And so we move to the next award presented by some comedians who’s names I just don’t know.  Sorry.

Really?

Best Jaw Dropping Moment:  The winner will make your own jaw drop, but luckily (and my Silver Lining on this one), Justin Beiber did not win this one for Justin Bieber: Never Say Never, Performance Spectacular.  Not when you had the likes of James Franco of 127 Hours cuttting off his arm or Steve-O of Jackass 3D bungee jumping INSIDE of a loaded porta-potty.  (And the clip of that was – well – jaw dropping, once you finished gagging).  But wait, what?  Oh, huh, Justin Beiber DID win.  Lest I get killed by the Justin Army, I think I am just going to quit while I am ahead on this one.

Then Josh Duhamel (yum), Patrick Dempsey (McYum,Yum), Shia LeBouef and the lucky, lucky girl who is in the new Transformers with them step onto the foggy stage (the fog machine worked overtime that night) and presented the award for…

Best Fight: Robert Pattinson, Bryce Dallas Howard and Xavier Samuels for Eclipse, for the scene when Edward rips Victoria’s head off.

I will admit, this was a strong choice.  And that’s all I have to say about that.  Ok, that’s a lie.  The acceptance speech would have been only too painful, had it been just RP up there, but luckily Bryce and Xavier saved the day with some actual gracious comments to the fans and some of the people involved in making the movie.  Thank you, Richie Cunningham, for teaching your daughter how to speak in public.  Thank you.  And Bryce, BTW, is preggers and couldn’t have looked cuter in her Grecian-style dress.  Interesting choice of color, I’d say, but at the end of the day, it worked for me.

After Jason sings on that gadnabbed piano (we’ve already gone over that, thank goodness), came one of the best moments of the night.  Ryan Reynolds came out.

Sigh.

Dear me, what a lucky sweater.

Wait, where was I?  Right…Ryan Reynolds (sigh) came out with Blake Lively and presented Best Kiss.  And, if you watched the MTV Movie Awards in 2009 and 2010, I don’t think you’ll be too surprised with the result.

Best Kiss: Oh yes friends…RP and Kristen Stewart (Edward and Bella) for Eclipse.  And ya know…the thing is, if you look at the other nominees, they weren’t all that fantastic.  I was kinda surprised by how few “good kisses” occured this year.  Nonetheless, I don’t mean to diminish th yummy-delicious-ness of the meadow kiss.  They are good at the kissing, those two, so congrats.

It was also nice how Kristen and Robert came up and made the best acceptance speech of the night. OK, no one believes me at this point, so why bother with the sarcasm?  OMG, Kristen Stewart.  I suggest, I beg, I implore, that you come over one day when my BFF Emma Stone is over for tea (that’s what we’re going to do, Emma and I) and we can talk about what not to do.  We’ll work on body language, work on some Pavlovian trick to help you not bite you lip all the time.  Trust me, it’ll be great!  It’ll be very The King’s Speech, you’ll love it!  Also, I think someone needs to ‘splain that a safety pin dress is not only not flattering, but since you wear shiz like that all the time, it has already numbed us to the look…sorry but you don’t look like a rebel.

Silver lining: Taylor Lautner and Kristen Stewart didn’t win for their Eclipse kiss (blech, blech, spit, blech, insert mouthwash, blech!).  Team Edward wins, ha!  But Robert did run into the audience to go plant one on Taylor and it was HIIIIIGH-larious.

Let us just take a moment and compare...hmmm...

And them Hermione came out (ok, fine, Emma Watson) and I was all…awww, you look so cute with that short hair.  Her white dress (she looks great in white) was a little “old” for her, for my taste, buy she made it work.  And anyhow, who cares, she came out and showed a clip of the very last, sniff, sniff, Harry, weep, weep, Potter, buahhhhh!, Movie.  Sniffle.  The clip for Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part II was totally satisfying and I can see that this movie is going to be worth every single penny I spend seeing it in the movie theater 5 times.  Or 12.

The boy who lived, come to die.  AVADA KADAVRA!!!”  [Kablaaaam!] Hearing Voldemort pronounce this line just like it appears on the pages of the book followed by the flash of his wand (hence the “kablaaaaam”) was enough to get me a little chokey-choked up.  The clip gave me confidence that this final movie is the brilliant culmination of the equally brilliant Harry Potter movies that have come before it.  Ahhhhhhhhhhhh!    Can’t wait!!!

And thus we arrived to the point of the night when the Generation Award was presented to Ms. Reese Witherspoon. (Love her!  Reese, you should call me too…maybe you can help me and Emma with this whole Kristen connundrum.)  Patrick Dempsey (McYummmmm), Robert Pattinson and Chelsea Lately said some words before having her come up to accept her award.  The video clip in her honor was excellent and hit its mark…I knew pretty much all the movies, but seeing all her hits one after another after another made me stop and think, “Wow, look at this Reese…sistah, you are accomplished!”  I did, I said it out loud and my beloved looked at me like I was cray-ZAAAAAAAY!

Patrick Dempsey shared his admiration of Reese in his classy, suave way (nice suede jacket, BTW).  And then came Rob.  Rob, Rob, Rob.  Rob.  For starters he pulled out his crumpled notes from his back pocket, which throws you off because Patrick had just finished speaking without any notes.  So Rob made reference to his sorry-ass looking piece of paper and Patrick and Chelsea were like, “Dude, use the teleprompter??”  Except, and this was funny…under his section for the teleprompter it just said “ad lib”, which he quickly pointed out to the two of them.  So I don’t know if something beyond his control happened, in which case I’d like to know so I can send him an apology note for judging him.  OR maybe he didn’t get his notes to the intern in charge of typing them into the teleprompter in a timely manner.  You decide the most likely of the two theories.

And so he reads off his speech, which included inside jokes with Reese (kind of like a middle schooler making a speech for his best bud who wants to show just how close they are, them and their inside jokes and all) that no one got.  At a certain point it was clear that even Reese was trying to figure out what he was referring to.  This was followed by his fumbling a joke’s punchline (during her acceptance speech Reese fixed it for him, and then everyone laughed).  Robert was so off that it made Chelsea Lately clearly uncomfortable.  Now that’s talent.  Patrick looked like he wanted the ground to open up and swallow him.  I kind of wished the same thing for Rob, just to spare him further embarassment.

FINALLY Reese came up and gave and outstanding acceptance speech.  She started by saying that she knew the mystique of “the bad girl” is intriguing but that it’s possible to make it in Hollywood and remain a good girl.  That you do not need a reality show to make it in Hollywood.  She wanted young girls of America today to know that “in her day”, if you made a sex tape you were so mortified you’d hide it under your bed [not put it on You Tube], and if you took naked pictures of yourself, you’d try to hide your face [not Tweet it]. WOW.  I loved her before, and now I am a fan for life.  Good for you Reese!

After some other comedy bits which, evidently, were quite forgettable, Jason Segal and Cameron Diaz, looking chic and effortless in a black short/blouse set with a thin black belt, presented…

Best Line From A Movie: Alexys Nycole Sanchez for the line: “I want to get chocolate wasted,” in the movie Grown Ups

She was darling and, obviously her parents prepared her well for her acceptance speech. Perhaps someone should forward them Robert’s parents’ digits, see what they can do to help.  And for the record, I want to get chocolate wasted too, Alexys!  Good job!

Honorable Mention For Vee: One other nominee who was a worthy opponent, from my BFF’s movie, Easy A:

Amanda Bynes:  “There’s a higher power who will judge you for your indecencies.”

Emma Stone: “Tom Cruise?”

Hee.

Ashton Kutcher, looking very David Grohl-wannabe despite his bow tie, and Nicki Minaj presented Kristen Stewart (are you surprised?) with Best Female Performer.  And in this one instance, I have to share who she was up against:

Emma Stone, Easy A
Emma Watson, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1
Jennifer Aniston, Just Go With It
Natalie Portman, Black Swan

Now, I get, really, that this isn’t the Oscar, but for reals????   Ahhhh!  My most heartfelt apologies to Hermione.  And well, you know how I feel about Emma Stone.  You had two Emma’s to choose from!  All you had to do was pick one of them!  Instead, you chose the lip biter.  Well done America.  I don’t even want to talk about the lip biter’s speech.  I don’t.

You cooould go with this...

Leyton Meester, Selena Gomez and Katie Cassidy came out and introduced the rapper Lupe Fiasco who offered a solid performance.  I bobbed my head a bit as I watched it.  But what I really want to talk about is Leyton Meester’s dress!  Ack!  Was Loehmann’s having a sale on Granny mini-dresses?  Worst dressed of the night for me.  And that’s taking Kristen Stewart’s safety pin dress into consideration.  In contrast you have sweet Katie Cassidy’s fresh crochet-looking white dress which was not my fav but which beffitted her age and the tone of the awards, and one of the two people who I thought were best dressed that night, Selena Gomez.  That girl has the best stylist in Hollywood.  For the past year I’ve noticed just how incredibly fabu she is dressing.  (If you’re curious, my other best dressed is Emma Stone, but I am almost embarassed to say it because I am starting to sound like a stalker.)

...OR this. Tough choice, I know.

Jason Bateman, some other comedian dude I don’t know, and Jason Sudeikis presented…

Best Comedic Award: And the winner is…on your feet, ladies and gents…Emmmmmmmaaaa Stoooooooone, for Easy A.  Nuff said.

Fabulous!

(Except that her dress and demeanor were perfect.)

Then came the piece de resistance, and the thing many a 13 year old girl across the country asked if they could stay up late to watch, even though they shouldn’t have been allowed to…RPatz, KS and Taylor Lautner came out and introduced, in their own suave way (do we have to go over this anymore?), the Breaking Dawn, Part 1 trailer.  Ahhhhhhhhhhh!  (What can I say, I am still a suckah for this story.)

In consideration of how inhumanly long I’ve made this article, I’ve written another article with details about this clip (and you knoooow I have details on this!).  You can click on this link if you want to read all about it.  For those of you who don’t want to go that route, I’ll just say the most important thing about this clip: There. Was. Headboard. Breakage.  Thaz right.

Think I just about barfed of joy. And relief.

And truly, as skiddish as I am after three movies that really don’t do justice to the books (Universal, why didn’t YOU buy the rights to Twilight?  Forks could right now be in Florida, right next to Hogwarts, and my life would be complete), this did in fact looked pretty good.  The wedding scene was just right.  Yes, for the first time ever, I am actually saying that a scene from one of those movies looks like the picture I had in my head.  And now I feel like I’ve jinxed my chances for a satisfying movie, so I’ll just move on.

Annnnnd finally, best movie.  But before I state the obvious, I’d like to give a shot out to the presenter, Gary Busey, who came out in a plastic hamster ball to present the award, which I can only commend him on.  I mean, if I had to present this award to the winner, when movies like Harry Potter and Social Network were nominated, I’d have some sort of protection against any rotten tomatoes thrown my way.

I can’t even make it suspenseful, because, guess who won?  Yea, I know you know already, but couldn’t you just pretend to be surprised, for my sake?

As much as this hurts...thank you Taylor. Ow.

Best Movie: The Twilight Saga, Eclipse

Once again I’d like to say…what?!?!?!  Did they not see that HP was nominated for this one either?  Weep.  I have no delusions, I know that this isn’t the Oscars, it’s not an awards show where Black Swan is going to win, even when nominated against Eclipse, but really?  If the voice of teen America is being represented, and teen America is self-centered enough to pick Eclipse over Harry Potter, I’m kinda worried.  Just sayin.

No, I was not kidding.

Silver Lining: No, not the hamster ball.  Taylor Lautner gave a very nice acceptance speech, that smelly mutt.

And thus concludes the longest article ever written for YA Crush.  Thanks to those of you who stuck through it.