Hello friends and fellow crazies…if you’re visiting this section of the blog then it makes perfect sense to you that there is a list (or a few) that exists and whose sole purpose is to talk about literary characters as if they were real, and not fiction (allegedly). Enjoy!
Edward Cullen, Twilight – I’ll start with the least popular one, and please, no hate mail. Thaz right, Edward. Edward, Edward, Edward. OK, folks, I know this is supposed to be just a quickie blurb, which Tee keeps reminding me (she knows me too well) so I’ll keep this simple. In a nutshell (oh, how I HATE nutshells) he has abs of steal (pretty much literally) a crooked smile and has had time to outgrow being a real life man. What? What I mean is that most men are never as unselfish as this hot vamp is. This is both a gift and a fault. Can we talk about that doggy kiss that transpired in the mountains –ew – and how understanding he was about that trainwreck? Grrrr. (I hate you Jacob!) Oh, and also, he has a little bit of a temper on him which is scary enough to be delish but isn’t scary, scary. That’s where that 100+ year maturity comes in…for a passionate, supernatural fellow, learning to control your temper can take that long. How do I know? Well, let’s see…the Incredible Hulk: under 100 and still hasn’t learned to take a deep breath. Wolverine: (um, Hugh Jackman…hello handsome!) not 100 either, right? OK, that one I’m not 100% about because I only saw snippets of the movie and I think there was something about the Civil War in there…but hey, it’s Hugh Jackman. He can lose his temper anytime. Say what? That’s another story.
Pee-(to-the)-Ta, The Hunger Games – Can I get an Amen sistahs? This is where my confession comes in…in my head, despite the totally “there” full descriptions of what both Peeta and Gale looked like early in The Hunger Games, my brain eyes totally ignored that and made him a brunette. Perhaps it’s because, just as with most of the gents on this list, there were too many of the good traits that made me think of my husband when I read about Peeta. All the sweet, loveliness that made me fall in love with him totally made me think of my beloved, who in case you haven’t made the connection, is a brunette. And so, in the great debate of Peeta vs. Gale, I suppose you know where I stand.
Wes, The Truth About Forever – Oh dear. An artist, a boy wise beyond his years (thanks to the world of experience he acquired at reform school…but that’s ok), and a hottie. Is it any wonder that our girl Macy had not a lick of a chance against his swoony ways? Moo. If you have yet to meet our dear Wes, you donneven know what you’re missing. Well, what are you waiting for???
Mr. Knightley, Emma – Dude. I haven’t even read the book so I thought I wasn’t allowed to have him as one of my literary BF’s (for the record I love the movie). And then I realized, holy hell, this is MY list, and I will list who I want to. I love this blog. So, back to dreamy-pants Knightley. Sigh. He’s that perfect combo of smart, witty (witty – muy importante and not the same as just smart), funny, classy and yet with a mischevious side that says, “Emma, I got yo’ numbah.” He calls her on her shiz and at the same time is utterly charmed by it. LOVE that!
Will, Clockwork Angel – Uhhhhh. Yum. Sigh. Blush. Need I say more? The most terrific thing about this English hottie (read: he has an accent, and it’s an English one), is that he is a good guy in bad guy clothing. He is some sort of angel-like creature, and when I first started this book I was all, “Dude, you’re an angel-ish-type dude [a.k.a. Nephilim], isn’t that kind of girlie?” And then he pulled out his crazy ninja moves defending Tessa against evil demons and shiz, and I was all…OH. Will is sarcastic, witty, passionate and also, kinda tortured. He pretends to be a no-good bastard and yet, secretly you see that – as actions speak louder than words – he’s actually a really sweet, good guy. Thaz right, supernatural and tortured. And I think we all know how I feel about that combo.
Luke F’ing Brandon, Confessions of a Shopaholic Series – Technically, the Shopaholics series of books are not YA but, dude, come on! It’s Luke f’ing Brandon. OMG. Talk about a temper problem. Ohmygawd, I am so sending the wrong message out there, but when it’s in this third party way, a temper is just so yummy delicious. Which is funny because my beloved is not a hot-tempered gent. OK, wait, take that back. USUALLY isn’t hot tempered…but once in a great while, when the shiz goes down, the Luke in him comes out and, holy temper, Batman, do I ever dig it. Uhhhh. Disclaimer: Hot because a) it’s never directed at me, b) he never beats anyone up over it, it’s more of a “he’s appalled” thing and c) it happens infrequently enough that when it does happen, it feels like a treat. But isn’t that the beauty of fiction? You get a little bit of what you think you wanted when you were young and stupid (gotta go back to Bella) and still come back to reality where you’re totally mature (pronounced ma-chr). Let me just say, the man is smart, witty, powerful, funny and HE HAS AN ENGLISH ACCENT. Also, he is constantly in a power suit which is sooooooo a good look for a chap. Pip, pip, cheerio and all that jazz.
St. Clair, Anna and the French Kiss – Though flawed by his slightly short stature, this is where his flaws pretty much end. This book was pretty much a St. Clair love fest, and can I say: yay him! (Sigh.) St. Clair knows how to show a girl he’s smitten, knows how to stand up for her against a major douche bag, knows how to give a drunken confession of love without being too much of a slurry mess (ok, so he throws up right after but he’s so cute, we forgive him), and, also, oh yea, how to be English (read: he has the accent – do we see a trend here?). Yes, I count this as both a talent and an asset. One last thing…he is super smart, and a great conversationalist. Can we say, “Brilliant!”?
Laurie, Little Women – I know we haven’t reviewed this book yet, though I feel we should. It’s YA: Victorian style. Laurie, initially so flawed and just an all around silly boy, turns into a manly man, with his head in the right place. A man who is successful in business, yet still in touch with his artistic self (he plays a mean piano, ‘member?), and who is loving and generous to both his wife and to his in-laws. Also, he looks like Christian Bale. What’s not to love? Just sayin. (A big P.S…I never got over the fact that I totes think he belongs with Jo March. Just sayin. Again.)
Mr. Rochester, Jane Eyre – Speaking of fabu Victorian YA, as with my girlfriend list, I must end my BF list with Jane Eyre and the OG of all swoony men…one Mr. Rochester. (Can we just, for the record state, his first name is Edward?) This was the first book that little Vee, in 6th grade, ever loved in the YA Crush sense. The first book to make me saaaah-wwwwwwooooooooooon. Mr. Rochester, so flawed, making some major mistakes, is just delish despite and in spite of them all. He’s smart, funny, knows exactly how to get under Jane’s skin (yet another trait that I love and can trace back to my beloved), and loves her to the deepest ends of the earth. Yum.