Casting The Hunger Games Movie (like for reals)

The Hunger Games, the incredible first book in Suzanne Collins’ trilogy, is being made into a film.  For some reason Vee and I were NOT asked to direct or weigh in on it (what the shizzo is that about?)  Despite this tragic news,  we’ve been talking about our dream cast.  Forget that the film now has a big-name fancy pants director (Gary Ross) or that the budget was just announced to be somewhere around $60 million (that’s more than Twilight thank heaven, but less than some huge epics).  We want to talk about who would be in our movie— age, money and sanity aside.

Tee

Alright friends, I’m nothing if not totally indecisive when it comes to the most ridiculous, unimportant things.  If you need help with a major life decision, I’m your girl.  But if you want to know which of two identical taupe shades you should paint your living room, I will agonize over the whole process.  All that considered, we should be thankful that I whittled my cast down to one choice per character on most everyone…except Katniss.

Kaya Scodelario as Katniss?

Kaya Scodelario

AS KATNISS

I know alot of people online are talking about her for the role of Katniss.  I think she physically fits the description of our resident bad ass, Ms. Everdeen.   Plus she’s  gorg.  If I didn’t think she looked like Katniss I’d probably hate her.  I’m interested to see her in the new Wuthering Heights movie next year, playing the character I love to hate, Cathy Earnshaw. This one has potential so she gets a solid…eh.

 

Or Emma Roberts as Katniss?

Emma Roberts

AS KATNISS

Confession: My kids and I love the Nancy Drew movie.  And we love Ms. Roberts.  She is cuteness personified.  Obviously “cute” is not a word we Hunger Games peeps would ever use to describe Katniss.   Buttkicker?  Yes.  Brave?  Yes?  Totally clueless when it comes to guys? Oh hell yes.  But not cute.  Still, for some totally irrational reason I think Emma Roberts would have the ability to carry off a tough, multi-layered girl like Katniss.  I have no evidence to point to, other than the fact that perhaps her Auntie Julia has passed on some of her wonderful acting talents, but this is what I believe.

Sidenote: I know Chloe Moretz is all the rage right now.  There has been lots of internet buzz that she’s a favorite to play Katniss.  Let’s me just say, she is adorable.  I loved her in Kick Ass and the clips I’ve seen from Let Me In (which I won’t watch because the original film scared the pants off me) look fantastic, but she is far too young to be Katniss.  Not only is she young, she looks very young.  If she is cast as Katniss, I may have to go on a Hunger Games boycott (which, you know, would only last until the movie came out, after which I’d totally go see it because I have absolutely no willpower, but still.  Be warned).

Ben Barnes as Gale

 

Ben Barnes

AS GALE

Well hellooooo Prince Caspian.  Or is that King Caspian now?  Sigh. Barnes has those brooding good looks that Gale is known for.  Though we barely get to know him in the first book, this is how I picture Katniss’ sidekick.  In fact, most of what Suzanne Collins tells about Gale has to do with his uber hotness (check), his hunting abilities (seeing him fighting all those CGI things in Prince Caspian leads me to believe he’d pull this off) and his devotion to Katniss and her family.  He is exactly how I imagine Gale, that poor guy stuck in friend mode with his best bud.  Wouldn’t they make such pretty babies? 

Hunter Parrish as Peeta

Hunter Parrish

AS PEETA

I know I just picked him in my casting for the Clockwork Angel review.  He’s kind of my go-to-blonde-guy (sorry Blonde Guys.  I’m not normally your biggest fan).  And he has an innocent look about him, which is exactly how I imagine our District 12 baker.  Peeta is someone who sees a sliver of hope in the darkest of times and this face conveys that.  What convinced me of this was when I rented It’s Complicated and saw Mr. P playing Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin’s son.  The moment I saw him, all I could think was “Peeta! Bread!  Peeta!”  When genius strikes, you don’t question it.

Hugh Laurie as Haymitch

Hugh Laurie

AS HAYMITCH

This is totally how I picture my man Haymitch.  I love that terribly flawed guy because despite his flagrant drunkenness and harsh ways, you can see that he has a heart.  Can you really blame him for being a little bit of a crazypants?  He’s been through alot.  That’s why I think Hugh Laurie would be perfect—because he’s not.  He’s good at playing a man who is intelligent, who has some inner demons but also has a heart buried somewhere under that hard exterior.

Elle Fanning as Prim

Elle Fanning

AS PRIM

Would you look at that face?  Isn’t she the most precious thing since baby Renessme chewed her way out of Bella’s tum tum?  No, really. Isn’t she so cute?  Dakota’s little sis is exactly how I picture Prim.  She has that fresh, innocent face that could convey hope in even the darkest of times.  And she’s just the right age (twelve).

Elizabeth Banks as Effie

 

Elizabeth Banks

AS EFFIE

Look out bishes! It’s time to talk about the cold-hearted mega byotch, Miss Effie.  I imagined Effie as someone picture-perfect; someone who looked beautiful on the outside, with her mega-watt smile and perfect composure, but who could convey an icy detachment with one look.  I can imagine that she’d have the same expression on her face in announcing the Hunger Games as she would in doing a big-time Panem celeb interview.  Dats cold.  Elizabeth Banks (who I love) fits the bill.

Jude Law as Cinna

Jude Law

AS CINNA

I’m not gonna lie.  I agonized over this one (remember: taupe paint).  It was so difficult to place my beloved Cinna.  I imagined him to be breathtakingly handsome with just a touch of fabulosity.  I think Jude Law could pull that off.  He’s pretty and kind of delicate-looking.  Still, before we sign his contract I’d be open to suggestions from others.

 

 

 

Vee

OK, so I should probably start this off with one big “I’m sorry”.

I feel like I start way too many of my posts with apologies and disclaimers but what can I say?  I was raised Catholic so my guilt is in every fiber of my plasma.  But see this time, this time it’s truly warranted…I really do need to apologize.  Why?  Oh, wait until you get to the bottom of my casting call.  Now don’t say I didn’t warn you.  Don’t go sending me your computer repair bill if you throw something at your computer screen and it breaks.

“WTF is she talking about?”, you might ask.

Listen, I didn’t mean for this to happen, but the brain eyes want what they want and sometimes there’s just nothing you can do about it.  As I read The Hunger Games, and as I quickly discovered my personal preference for Peeta over Gale, my head (acting as if on its own accord) morphed Peeta into who it wanted him to look like…siriusly.  And so it was only natural that this would transform Gale into the opposite of Peeta, cuz they are, right?

OK here’s the deal:  I like brunettes.  I’ve never been one for blond guys and I find it a great duress to imagine a literary character swoonworthy if he’s a blondie, which supposedly Peeta is.  Sooooo…there, I said it.  In my head Peeta is a brunette, very down to earth looking and Gale is blond and pouty.  What?!?!?  I SAID I KNOW ALREADY, STOP WITH THE DIRTY LOOKS!!!  Sorry, there’s the Catholic guilt kicking in…it’s making me a little paranoid.  Wait, are you still giving me the evil eye?  I can’t take this.

 

See? Look, she's thinking, I am SO going to kick the living shiz out of that paparazzi!

Kaya Scodelario

AS KATNISS

She’s lovely but not SO unbelievable gorgeous that she knows it.  The kind of pretty that everyone but her is aware of.  She also has eyes that show her strength…you know, the kind of eyes that say, “I am so going to kick your ass right now!” and be able to follow through on that promise.  Just sayin.

 

 

 

 

 

 

See? She looks tired.

Katherine Keener

AS KATNISS' MOM

Katniss’ mom is kinda, sorta pretty but she tired!  I mean, hulloh, you would be  too if you had to live in District 12 and had lost a husband, gone through major clinical depression that you, somehow, nursed yourself back from, and were starving nearly everyday.  Also, coal dust is not good for your skin…it can make you wrinkle prematurely.  I hope Katherine Keener doesn’t take this the wrong way but she does a really good job acting tired.

Sami Hanratty is a cutie-pie like Prim

Sammi Hanratty

AS PRIM

Cutie-patootie Prim still has the fresh look of innocence.  She is, by nature, filled with hope.  She’s super cute as a button too, just like Sammi Hanratty! (She’s in one those American Girl movies I’ve never seen on account of I have two boys, thank God!)

Robert Downey Jr. is my Haymitch

Robert Downey Jr.

AS HAYMITCH

I have this bizarre “smell you” connection going on with Haymitch and I don’t know why.  I mean, I SWEAR it has nothing to do with my own out of control drinking problem. Just kidding you guys, I don’t have an out of control drinking problem!  It’s totally under control which is what I always tell my friends from AA when they call.  OK, so, really, I don’t know why.  He’s a kook, and I just happen to have a soft spot for kooks.  It also probably doesn’t hurt that from the get go I envisioned one Mr. Robert Downey Jr. as Haymitch, who I have just the tiniest of crushes on.  I might have cast Hugh Laurie, except I just really wanted to post this picture of RDJ giving me (me) the stink eye.

 

"Um, why is the Mockingjay holding that big giant ball? I think it clashes with her outfit!"

Kristin Chenoweth

AS EFFIE

This girl is the bitch-who-stole-mah-pads.  She is utterly obtuse and unable to access the part of her brain that says, “Heeeeey, I’m in the business of taking people to their deaths!”  She distracts herself by thinking she’s in the business of being a crazy etiquette nazi and it works for her.  You need to have the ability to give the crazy eye look if you’re going to play this gal and Kristin Chenoweth is just the girl.  I’ve seen the crazy eyes on that one and she does them gooooooood.

Jake Baruchal

AS CINNA

Oh, Cinna.  I heart Cinna.  I want to start the club and be the president.  Every girl needs a Cinna.  I could write a sonnet about why but if I start I’ll never finish, so let me just say that this one is the hardest to cast for me.  I wanted someone who is good looking, but not too good looking.  He should not be ripped because he has to stand in great contrast to the likes of Gale and Peeta, who are totally ripped and muscular (right?).  Someone who has a quiet serenity, and eternal wisdom about him, someone who with just one look tells you he knows more.  The force is strong in this one, young Padawan.  So tell me, how in the hizzle am I supposed to cast that?!?!  Imagine my luck, as I was watching a commercial for the upcoming release of “The Sorcerer’s Apprentice” (on DVD and Blu-Ray!) and I see Jake Baruchal, the apprentice, gives the camera this quiet-resolve-type look and I was sold.  That’s my Cinna and I am sticking to it.

 

I'm sorry.

Chord Overstreet

AS GALE

I have nothing to say.  Sorry, I’m too busy with my head under my pillow.  Look, just enjoy the pretty picture of Chord Overstreet and be quiet.  Just thought I’d add that it’s almost a mystic, voodoo kind of thing that my final (and most important, to me anyhow) casting pick is also a fellow Glee cast member…

 

This is my Peeta, okay?

Cory Montieth

AS PEETA

Peeta, who even in all my cringe-filled-stupor I saved for last because I love him so.  Peeta is sweet but still capable of (I don’t care what anyone says) open a can of whoop ass.  The difference being that he can talk about how that makes you feel after it happened.  Well, on account of my brunette-preference, I pictured an aw shucks, cutie-patootie who still could bench press.  And so, fresh off of my first read of The Hunger Games, I tuned into my current fav TV Show, Glee, and watched as Cory Montieth did the whole “aw shucks” thing so adorably perfectly, and then turning around and kicking some a-double-ss  on the football field.

The Recap…

It looks like Vee and I will have to duke it out over Gale and Peeta (obv. Ben Barnes will win since he’s a prince and all), but this whole conversation has us wondering…who would your dream cast be?